Last week at EfM, our check in question asked us to think of a time when we or someone we knew had "turned the other cheek". As I listened, it occurred to me that many of us were telling stories that ended up allowing hurtful behavior to continue while people we saw as virtuous endured discomfort, hurt or pain unnecessarily - my own story included.
Why did that happen? Do we really believe that "turning the other cheek" is about allowing ourselves to be doormats for someone else's misbehavior? I don't think it is, any more than forgiveness is to invite someone else to repeat hurtful behavior over and over again. When Jesus said that we are no longer to follow the custom of an "eye for an eye" and a "tooth for a tooth", I think he meant that we were not to seek retribution for the harm we endured. That doesn't mean that we should expect, invite or endure repetitive instances of inappropriate, disrespectful or harmful behavior. Jesus meant that we are not to respond to violence with violence. We respond with compassion and mercy. In some cases mercy being that we don't hit back. We don't hit, but we do address the hurt. We do confront the one who has hurt us. We do set healthy boundaries. We do communicate reasonable expectations. We do talk about the hurt that was (or is) being caused. We do seek to set the relationship right by speaking the truth we know.
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