Sunday, March 23, 2014

At the Well

Lent 3; Yr. A, March 23, 2014
Exodus 17:1-7; Psalm 95; Romans 5:1-11; John 4:5-42
Sermon preached at St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church

         Jesus goes to Samaria with his disciples.  He stops at a well and asks a woman there for a drink.  There are several things about this encounter that make it odd.  First, Samaritans and Jews didn’t get along very well.  Jews considered Samaritans heretics, so they wouldn’t have been too likely to have a conversation with one another anywhere, let alone at a well.  Second, it would not have been proper for a man to be talking with a woman he didn’t know.  Third, noon is a very funny time for a woman to be at the well.  Most women went to the well in the morning and collected what they needed for the day.  It was a social event.  They talked and worked together.  This woman was probably an outcast, unwelcome at the morning ritual with the rest of the woman in the town. She’s at the well at noon in the heat of the day at a time when no one else would consider coming to draw water. 
            If I were her, I’d be wary.
A lot of questions would be running through my mind.  Why is this man talking to me?  He’s asking for water, but what does he really want?  I’m alone.  Is it safe to talk to this man without anyone near by to help if it goes awry?  I’m an outcast.  Maybe he wants to add to my troubles with ridicule or humiliation.  What will people say if they see me talking to a Jewish man?  I would have lots of worries to warn me against the coming conversation.  But she responds anyway. 
            The conversation itself is strange.  It begins with Jesus asking the woman to draw him some water from the well.  Not such an unusual thing for a man to do, except for those peculiar circumstances.  The woman notices them right away. “How is it that you, a Jew, ask a drink of me, a woman of Samaria?”  She knows who she is.  Who does this guy think he is?  .  “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink’, you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.”  What is living water? 
            The woman knows what comes out of that well, and you need a bucket to get it.  They’re in a desert so you have to have a long rope to get to the liquid at the bottom.  Jesus has neither.  The woman is curious. “Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our ancestor Jacob?”  A well was a gift in the desert.  Everyone depended on it for life.  They made a daily pilgrimage there on foot, and if the well ran dry, many would die.
            The living water that Jesus is talking about is self-sustaining.  If you drink it, you become the well.  It gushes up inside you.  It gushes up!  It’s not a little trickle; it’s a flood!  That gets the woman’s attention.  Water like that would be valuable beyond belief.  Water that you didn’t have to walk to get.  Water that renewed itself within your body.  You can go without food for a long time, but water … water you need almost daily.  Who wouldn’t want that?  The woman says, “Give me this water.”   She wants it.  A part of her believes what Jesus is saying.  She believes there is such a thing as living water.  “Give me this water so that I may never be thirsty.”
            What happens next seems especially odd.  Jesus answers her demand with a command of his own.  “Go get your husband.”  She doesn’t have one.  “You are right”, Jesus answers, “you have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband.”  The woman is astonished.  How could he know this?  Jesus must be a prophet.  Maybe he is greater than their ancestor Jacob.  But that doesn’t change the fact that he is a Jew, and she is a Samaritan.  They worship in different places.  They have different beliefs.  They don’t even like one another.  
            Jesus says, none of that matters.  The time is coming, in fact the time is now, when true worshippers will worship God in spirit and truth.  Maybe that’s when the woman realizes that Jesus has just given her living water.   Jesus gave her the gift of truth.  You have no husband, in fact you’ve had five, and the one you’re living with now is not your husband.  Hard truth, yes … liberating truth.  I am the Messiah.  I know your secrets, and I will still talk to you.  I will sit at the well with you and not push you away.  The truth does not condemn you.  You are not an outcast from me.  Truth with love is living water. 
            The woman is so overcome with the power of that interaction that she drops her water jar and runs into the city.  She runs to the place and people who have cast her out, maybe forgetting that she isn’t welcome there.  She gets there and she tells the people about Jesus.  She tells them that he knew everything she ever did.  She has forgotten her shame.  “He cannot be the Messiah, can he?”  Can he?  Is that what the living water is all about?  Is that what worshipping in spirit and truth is about?  Throwing off fear and humiliation?  Being known fully?  Welcoming one another in love?  I think so.  “Many Samaritans in the city believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, ‘He told me everything I have ever done.’”  Water began gushing up eternally within her.  They went out to find Jesus and they invited him to stay.  While he was there many more came to believe. 
             There are a lot of lonely and outcast people in the world.  We are some of them.  There is a part of each of us that is looking for unconditional love, for that living water that Jesus was offering the woman at the well.  There is so much about our lives that we don’t share … because it’s personal … because it’s painful … because it’s embarrassing … because we’re ashamed … because we’re afraid … maybe because no one gives us the chance.  We differentiate ourselves by our differences in belief, in opinion, in political party, in race, in sex, in so many ways, but we are fundamentally the same.  We build walls around ourselves to keep others out, but those walls can just as easily be a trap, a trap that binds us to patterns and behaviors that never permit us to feel safe letting others get to know us or allow us to be curious enough about other people to get to know them.  At the well, Jesus is saying that we do not have to be afraid of ourselves.
            Brené Brown[1] is a shame researcher.  She goes all around the country talking about shame and shame resilience.  She says that we live in a culture of shame, a culture that’s based on “never enough”.  Not only is there a limited supply of goods and services that pit us against one another, but we ourselves are limited.  We’re never enough, never smart enough, never creative enough, never kind enough, never generous enough.  You name it.  We’re always falling short, or being put down, because we don’t work hard enough, or we aren’t going to the best schools, or we’re not wearing the right clothes.  If you don’t believe that’s true, talk to our young people.  They know all about it.  We live in a culture that judges one another all the time.
            There were lots of reasons that Jesus shouldn’t have had that conversation at the well, but he did it anyway.  When his disciples returned, they were shocked … but they didn’t say anything to him about it.  Maybe they’re finally starting to understand that they could not control him.  Jesus was going to have conversations with anyone he wanted to … lepers, Pharisees, tax collectors and demoniacs.  Jesus usually didn’t let “stuff” get in the way of relationships.  God’s love was big enough to hold it all.  How big is our love?  Who are we willing to meet at the well?  Look around the church.  Is there anyone you don’t know?  Someone who you know by just their face and name, but little else?  What would it be like to sit with him or her after the service during our fellowship time?  What kinds of things would you talk about?  Safe things?  Things you all agree on?  Or could you talk about yourself … about what concerns you … about things you care about.
            Brown has several guidelines she uses when she’s talking to others about herself.  Most importantly, she says, don’t throw your pearls before swine.  Share your deepest truth with those you trust.  That may only be two or three people in your life.  You don’t have to throw your whole self out to everyone.  People earn the right to hear your dearest stories.  We earn the right by sitting at the well together over and over again.
            If someone takes the chance to share something with you, listen and avoid the urge to give them advice.  The most important thing you can do is thank them.  Acknowledge the privilege you have just received.  Someone has just given you a deeper glimpse of themselves, and risked rejection while hoping for love. 
            Jesus told the woman that he was there for her, and so was God … in spirit and truth.  He knew that that living water could set her free, and it did.  What kind of conversations are we willing to have with one another?  Who are we willing to meet at the well?  As you look around this room, is there a person you haven’t spoken with, except to say “hello” or “good-bye”, or “how are you” in passing?  Maybe it’s time to meet them at the well.  Just sitting together is a step in the right direction.  No one should have to sit alone, not if we’re living in love.  We reach out to the other, especially to the one who does not look like me or you or you.  Think about the well being your table at hospitality, and see what happens.  Then see if you start to discover other wells in other places … at work, at the bus stop, in line at the grocery store, at your child’s school.  That’s worshipping in spirit and truth, and living the joy of Christ, an invitation we have all received.
           
Amen.



[1] Brown, Brené.  Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, Gotham Books, New York, NY, 2012. 

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